Savannah vannah bo bannah banana fannah fo fanana mee my mo mannah, Savaaaannah

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Savannah is sweet. The amount of fun that is available to be had here makes every other city I’ve ever been to look like an instructional video for a toothbrush. To start the day, Snides set an alarm for way too early in the morning, which, upon threat of violence, was then reset to a much more acceptable 9:00. We left the room at around 10 or 10:30 and hit the Charleston market as soon as we could find it. After some light trinket-shopping and the best Arnold Palmer I’ve ever had, we did a bit of walking around the city and then set off for Savannah, a little over 100 miles away.
On the way we saw a super dope tree.

Once you get into the midtown area, Savannah is a beautiful city. The many parks are all perfectly manicured and covered in old statues and picturesque benches, though we felt gypped when we went to the location of the Forrest Gump bench only to find that there is no Forrest Gump bench!

Original location of Forrest Gump bench

Walking around the city, we found a giant chess board with three-foot chess pieces and a guy named Mark who challenged us to a friendly game. We had Mark on the ropes for a while until we made a few costly mistakes, which Mark took advantage of to quickly bring the game to an end. Downtrodden from our defeat, we took comfort in a nearby happy hour, where the Barcelonés bartendress provided us with some free shots and quality conversation. Amaya tried a little flirtation but she was clearly too much woman for him. After grabbing our all-important to-go beers (which is apparently a normal, legal thing here!), we found a nice pizza place to eat at, then perused River Street, the city’s strip of shops, bars, and restaurants along the river.

We walked back up to a park area to watch a basketball game on a giant screen, and an older, possibly homeless guy wearing camo pants and an open vest, showing a full field of chest hair, came up and started talking to us about where women hang out in the city. He then gave us an amazing long speech to say to any women we came across (which we unfortunately didn’t catch on video). Then, when I compared him to Martin Luther King, Jr in his speaking abilities, he recited (paraphrased) a full King speech, much (all?) of which we did catch on video. We all held hands at one point in the speech; it was a moment. He gave us two palm fronds folded into roses, told us one more foolproof line to say to the ladies, and then asked for “donations,” which we gladly provided in exchange for all the entertainment he provided. If I remember correctly, the line was something like “Please excuse me for invading your privacy, but I just have to tell you, girl, you have eyes that hypnotize, here’s a rose, can I please have your name?” Then we were supposed to give them one of the palm roses (which he must constantly have been carrying around in his pockets) and then we had to take it from there.

After that whole experience, we called it a night and retired to our hotel room (which had amenities this time!) to get up early for some complimentary continental breakfast (fancy!) before the long drive to the Smoky Mountains. –J